January 2020

Looking back on 2019

God's Word and His promises came ALIVE in my life in 2019. If you've talked to me at all recently, or even read my other blog posts, you probably have a good idea of what's been going on. However I haven't talked as much about what was going on in my head and put words to what I felt like the Lord was teaching me during this time. So here's my attempt to put words to my feelings, which has always been a messy process for me. These are a few verses that the Holy Spirit led me to at some point this year, and what the Lord taught me through them.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12Then you will call on me and come and

pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me

with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a pretty well-known verse that's taken out of context a lot. I'd heard this verse my entire life, and it's a verse that people like to cling to during those times where everything seems to be falling apart and nothing makes sense. This year, however, the lesson was in verses 12-13. Early this year the Lord closed the door on a dream I'd had for 5 or so years, and I felt lost. Yet in that the Lord showed me the beauty in giving up control and trusting in His plan, which was HARD. I think in all the busyness in our lives we forget that His purpose, plan, and hope for us are eternal. I certainly did. I needed to be reminded that it's not about me, it's about Him. The more we practice verses 12 and 13, the more He reveals to us His plans to give us hope and a future. Because His purpose for our lives is to be living testimonies to who HE is and what He did for us. The more we pray and seek Him, the deeper in love we fall with Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Earlier this year I struggled a lot with feeling unqualified, especially after I understood that the Lord was calling me to be a teacher in El Salvador. I didn't think I was good enough, smart enough, ______ enough (fill in the blank, I felt it). It's like I was asking, "are you sure, God?" Am I the best person for this job? I didn't feel like I'd ever be ready or good enough to do what I'm being called to do it, but He showed me that that's the point. He doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. Because His glory shines brightest in my weakness.

Isaiah 55: 6, 8-9

6 Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near... 8 "For my thoughts are not

your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than

the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

We serve a God who doesn't fit inside our logic. When I start thinking about the ways in which I've seen Him work and the evidence of His movement, I get overwhelmed. And what I can see doesn't even scratch the surface of how He's moving! Seeing Him answer decade-long prayers and reveal Himself in such big ways this year has encouraged me to see Him even more in the small things. He's brought me this far, and I know He'll see His work in me through to the end.

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He knitted me so purposefully in my mother's womb to be exactly who I am. My story is my story because He created me to think the way I do, react the way I do, and have the passions that I do, which led me to do the things I did.

A lot of people struggle with figuring out who they are. They say your 20's are for figuring that out! So my prayer for your 2020's is that beyond finding out who you are, you realize whose you are. And by encountering your Creator, you encounter who He made you to be.

Feliz Año Nuevo!

Alyssa

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